Start Here

I'm a fool, I know,
You said so long ago.

It'll hurt for a day,
Then it goes away.

I can't see from here,
You said it would be clear.

.   .   .   .

A way to retaliate backwards?
I'll keep it in my heart.

How are you mad at my ending
When I didn't even start?

Treat + Retreat

A tiny percent of the population
is whom I want real close.

I'll happily exchange ideas with you
while you're breathing down my nose.

Our eyes catch the spark of the very same sight
Come closer, you can't see it.

We'll stare and wonder the hours away...
No wait, you just retreated.

My Town

Cleveland doesn't want me,
Savannah thinks I'm rude.
Jacksonville in general knows
I'm too obsessive about food.

Manhattan may have missed me,
Portland knows I'm broke.
Cheyenne watched me standing
outside forever like a dope.

San Francisco's way too cool,
though it's flawless in its theory.
Iowa's lines were drawn too tight:
it could never really see me.

Georgia won't forget my flaws,

but I still keep her in my heart:

the heys and y'alls, flights and falls 

from every running start.

Each road 'round there remembers me
from before I had a clue:
where I fit and where I fell,
and those things I said to you.

LA doesn't seem to notice
my presence in this sun.
Perhaps its too busy checking in
recent arrivals of everyone.

Wunderkindland

Another place in a better time,
With breezes alight and colors fine.

Faces filled to the skin with hope,
Drenched with joy and tied with rope.

Running towards what you always imagined,
Straight up ahead in a confident fashion.

You never thought to say "Wait up!"
One wrong step and you're out of luck.

No one will wait and no one will care.
That thing you thought wasn't ever there.

The road you tread is in your head,
Your mistakes are just make believe.

It's so much bigger than what we know now,
Too lush a landscape to conceive.

Southern California Bees

Who's the busiest person?
You can bet for sure not me,
but every other blighted soul is
biz biz biz busy!!!!

It shows that they're important:
so many things to do!
Working on facts and arranging dates:
you wish they could explain it to you!

"This production that I'm coordinating..."
"This screenplay I'm working on..."
Wordless drip! I'm sick of it!
Every sound they make is wrong.

Sure, they'd elucidate if you could relate -
if you had any power or pull -
but a silly little bunny who don't know the game
could sure make you look like a fool!

It's astounding, the kind of expertise
that creates this high demand:
you say someone picked up your phone call
and almost patched you through to the man?

And then what happens when it finally works out
after the years and effort they've spent?
They're all alone, their friends have gone
because their work was abhorrent.

Further Review

Mice tarts are nice, in fact they're divine:
better than game and sweeter than swine.

Sizzle them up in a tarragon spread
eat the whole thing, then go straight to bed.

You'll doze off lumpily on the couch again,
staring at the door, emptying the pen.

Retrace all the words you never meant to write:
a mumbled and muted, horrified delight.

Spending the time you've only been lent
in guilty, needless, wanting repent.

'Cados

I've put two avocados on the sill out in the sun
Hopefully they'll ripen - or at least just one.

The other can catch up later, as I would wait for days
to taste that smooth, green goo in a dish made three ways.

I'll chop it and mix it with some ripe tomato,
A little garlic, onion, and of course cilantro.

Then I'll throw it at the wall real mad and cry,
"How's that for living now, little green guy?!"

Just kidding, I would never be that insane
(to waste nature's treats is really just lame.)

I'd love it and lick it and probably get sick
from eating them throughout my day!

Skins Beneath

At a certain age, it begins.
Time finds a way straight into your skins,
and stretches and wrinkles and fades in some places:
mocking, miniature lines all over our faces
that serve as a proof of the years gone by
(the quotes round the mouth, the feet at the eye).

Am I proud of the story they tell so loud
to often a stranger and never a crowd?

My history is richer than what could be shown
on a plane less dimensional than my own
thoughts and hopes and ideas and loves -
the determination that will rise above
evidence of hurt from decades past.

I will become myself, at last.

Promise

Beneath the porch in the rain,
I will ever be hiding.

The last one to blame is me,
but I can take the chiding.

To fight for you is inevitable.
I promise to take good care.

Groceries, laundries, and chatter
I'll always be right there.

Meanwhile, birds mark the course
of my flight out to the sun.

The words are just the first part
it has not yet even begun!

Plastics

Things don't work sometimes.
Replace the batteries as you like.

The blinking blue light indicates
a source of anger that retaliates.

Throw it at me, it still won't work.
Then who will be the big fat jerk?

Keep trying at it, it may give in -
(at the cost of peaceful living).

Free of worrying about trivialities,
anyone can do just as they please.

Frames

I've pretty much gotten my ass kicked like every single day
since the moment I thought of the great idea to move out to LA.

"Just so close" and "Not this time" always echo through my brain;
The looping thoughts I think here would make anyone insane.

I picture the life I wanted and this is nowhere close.
The plan was to take this stupid place by storm and then to go.

It's hard for me to care because it doesn't make a dif
Whether I get a speaking part or just a walk on bit.

I'm not fighting to find a frame for my freckled face to squeeze in
to redeem some greater ghost or justify some obtuse reason.

I'd rather spend my quiet time alone in my own home
with my dirty hair unseen and my history unknown.

Sometimes Annoying

What a total waste of time it is
to think that folks are honest.
It's façade and bullshit,
mine-not-your shit,
break every single promise.

And such a stupid futile effort
to read these folks as true,
They're insincere
and really weird
with the mess that they exude.

I only have few to which I relate,
as so many seem amazingly fake.

To stay here I know is my mistake,
but maybe I've not had all I can take:

I'll transform from the pressure
like a diamond in the rough.

It could be annoying,
but really not tough.

I am here for a greater reason,
and forge my own way to a better season.

Poetry

The only thing
you ever taught me
about poetry
is how it can mean

absolutely

nothing


at



all



 

Twenty One Forever

I would never near someone of my stature
to say, "I've got drugs and it don't even matter

if you have money now or at the hotel.
(I hope your night has been going well.)

Only seven dollars for a hit of mescalin...
It's the part of this town that's really a sin."

What is it about me that makes him feel okay
to approach me in the sunset on the street this way?

No mescalin for me, mister, thanks a lot.
This isn't a Phish concert, and I certainly am not

twenty one forever, nor even twenty seven:
I lost the fight, died, then came back home from heaven.

Which makes me three thousand and twelve years old.
Stupid child, you've already been bought and sold.

Left

Lights and heaters that plug right in,
A silly face with an awful grin.

Bottles, liquids, solutions, and rods,
Habits so old they now seem odd.

What you should have thrown away
Comes back to haunt you every day.

You say you're done and leave me be
But it's all already left so quietly.

Tuition

I changed my mind, it's fine.
I do it all the time.

You changed yours too, you know.
I thought we'd sit and watch it grow.

You jumped the ship, no I did first.
You were the best and the most awful worst.

I've filed it under the 'tuition' tab -
further thoughts on such things just make me mad.

Winches

I'll pick you up from the airport
when you come to visit me.
If you've got something smart to say,
I'll listen repeatedly.

Two grande lattes please,
one for you and one for me.
I'm always happy to buy us treats
when I have the money.

Want to collect the years, my friend,

and talk about how days have passed?

Pull up a chair next to me, 

I've got the wine, just bring a glass.

Got something you're working through

and need some time alone?

I'll let you be for how long you need,

I won't even call you on the phone.

You'll come back, I'm sure of it.

Our bond's too strong to break.

Losing your friendship and laughter forever

would be a terrible life mistake.

Final 30

Everyone gets really sad
When things come to an end.

It's never easy to say goodbye
To a time, a thing, or friend.

But part of the beauty of the whole deal
Is watching as new things unfold!

Most stuff gets yucky after a while,
Let it go, it's too much to hold.

Except for a few most cherished items:
A bauble or person or way of being.

One day it hits you, "Has it been that long?

We've been together through everything!"

Cake Monday

Pearls are pretty on lovely ladies,
But they're nice on ugly girls too.

If you ever bring me a big slice of cake,
I will be happy to share it with you.

Sometimes I wonder about the hours,
And to where they've all departed.

I can only recall the best times of all,
Spent with the lovingly goodhearted.

King Dijon

I eat-a the pita.
I like it a whole lot!
I fill it with good stuff,
(Either cold or hot.)

I also like plain bread,
With 12 or 7 grains.
I toast it and crunch it
It tingles in my brains!

Mustard's awesome also,
It goes with everything.
A dijon spread has great street cred,
In Condiment Land, it's king!

At My Leisure

It's pretty important to be real nice
When you ask for something for free.

This seems real simple, but you couldn't guess
How many folks don't do it graciously.

Even if you think it's just a small favor,
And you deserve it one hundred percent.

It's just not right to demand continued funding
From someone who is just trying to pay their own rent.

All it takes is kindness and maybe a pretty smile,
And even if you think you deserve it, don't get all entitled.

(People hate that quality in everybody
And it makes you look like a child.)

Weather Together

There is such hope and promise
In the agreement to be together.

But really its kind of ridiculous
That they say "in any kind of weather."

I mean come on, do you ever hear
Of anyone who has just jumped ship,

Because of snowy or windy days,
As if in the rain, their lives won't fit?

That would probably definitely hail
A little red flag for me,

I'd be pleased to get out of there,
And that illogical insanity!

Big Mouths

The dark side and light sides are obvious foes,
But what about all those things you don't know?

Like the murky gray areas that get lost in between,
The good parts and bad times of all that you've seen.

The ways you would learn to still surprise yourself,
Or how you just get used to your life on a shelf.

Do missed connections and "Should-Have-Been-Me"s
Face up against blue ribbons and best qualities?

They must get mixed up somewhere in translation,
It's a long way from a brain to a mouth in any iteration.

As I Relate to Sandwichery

Thursday is the new Friday,
Orange is the new black.
With all these things switching up,
I just cant keep track.

Spiders are our friends now,
Mosquitoes are passe.
If you get bit by certain bugs,
The press says, "It's okay!"

Fat-free mayo on the top,
Mustard in the middle.
Extra spinach for the crunch,
Then cook it on the griddle!

Protein can be eggs or meat,
Or even tofu chunks.
Add a tomato on the top,
And there's your healthy lunch!

real emotional girl

i get overly emotional from so deep within
it's embarrassing and overwhelming - i can't reel it in
when suddenly something so stupid and trite
like a starbucks made wrong or a bad thing gone right
brings a crickle to my voice and tear to my eye
a big pain in my heart and i don't know why
i'm standing there dying over an eight dollar croissant
just one flaw in a character not yet ready to flaunt

The Heck!

Every day is earth day.
Every day is nice.

Also its your birthday.
Also you eat mice.

(Just kidding about that last one,
I don't know how you do.)

That would be incredible,
But also I'd say, "Ew!"

However, if you ate a bug,
I would not scream or shout.

I'd simply close my eyes n ears
And just get the heck out!

French Fries-es

Nighttime falls but the sun also rises,
Good things can come in ugly disguises.

But more often than not,
You don't get what you got,

Except when you order French fries-es.

My Dad Thinks He's A Poet

My dad thinks he's a poet;
It's funny as can be.
He spends his time making rhymes,
Then pawns them off on me.

He's good at poem concepts -
That's certainly his thing.
A few fine lines in a flash of time:
He makes those words just sing!

"Once you have a good idea,"
He says, "It's easy to go from there."
I completely agree that it is key
To craft those thoughts with care.

When we are eating donuts,
Or even riding bikes,
He declares phrases, then says, "I'd say this
If I was the type who writes."

It's fun to find little rhymes and thoughts
In things you wouldn't think.
It makes you see it all in a whole new way:
Eyes wide, not wanting to blink!

Happy Easter

Little baskets full of chocolate
Make me think of Jesus.
His incredible tale
Of how peace prevails,
And how His love would free us.

But if we all weren't around,
Who could be found
To retell all the stories
Of His virtuous grace and beautiful face
Beheld in all His glories?

Doodle Deet Doot

I saw it, I knew it,
You were good from the start!

I know it, so screw it,
I went and stole your heart!

Doodle deet doot,
Doot doodle deet doot!

You heard it, I said it,
No need for bashful ways!

I love it, can't help it,
You're my very favorite phrase!

Doodle deet doot,
Doot doodle deet doot!

Flyover States

Tomorrow morning about this time,
I will be boarding flight three-sixty-nine.

As it circles round the ocean and heads east again,
The flight back home is like a dear old friend.

I spend hours with my face pressed up against the glass,
Staring as the landscapes evolve as we pass.

I make shapes of the clouds and map out lands far below,
And wonder who lives there - maybe someone I know?

And where do the roads lead, and whats that big lake?
From my view, it's stunning down in the flyover states.

Friends Change

Friends and everyone else will change,
There's no question about that.

One day they are your BFF,
The next they are a rat.

Or you both could just grow apart,
Get caught up in daily life.

No longer having quite as much time
For friendship as for strife.

Ideally, you would have changed together,
And learned from one another.

But sometimes someone just jumps ship,
Or just doesn't seem to bother.

And that, my friend, is the saddest thing,
As you're left standing by yourself:

Emptily glancing at the one you've known
So much better than anyone else.

Obsessive Email Checking As A Character Flaw

It's really super embarrassing, but I must admit
That I often check for email more than a little bit.
Omg like way more, even obsessively at times,
And when no emails appear, I just sit there sadly and whine.

So much time has passed since I've gotten any messages,
How could I possibly not be obsessed with this?
I must double check that my email even works,
So I send a message to myself like a jerk.

And sure enough it pops up, as if to clue me in
That I'm not quite as popular as I thought I had been.
One day I'll bask in the glory of way too many emails
But until then I'll wonder just what that entails.

Burned Bird

"You flew too close to the sun," they said,
"And that's how you got burned.
You're a smart bird and we all think
That by now you would have learned."

"But it sparkles so much!" he said gleefully.
He was so excited that he nearly fell over!
As his beaky smile grew, everyone knew
That he'd fly out again across the clover.

"See little bird, look at your feathers!
They're all seared and scorched on the ends.
Listen, don't do it, this truth is the truest,
We're telling you because we're your friends!"

He never stopped smiling, just bowed his bird head
"Thanks for your loyal support.

Of course we are friends, that is true," he said,

But this little bird must deport!"

And in a wink and a flash he flew off to the sun
Out through the green clover field.
We all thought it had ended but it had only begun:
This bird's passion just can't be concealed.

Continued Production

Making something can be really fun

And totally satisfying when its all done.

Like ice creams or tortillas or a side table:

Go get the ingredients n do it if you're able!

However, at times the project will not work out

And leave you feeling empty, but full of self doubt.

Whether we like it or not, we don't get to choose;
We must continue production or as a species we will lose!

Ahh, yes. This is the way of the life, my friend:

We will all keep making things until the very end!

Suitable Togetherness

Email me if you want to catch up,
Call me if you want to talk.
Yell my name really loudly
From the tip of the mountaintop!

Get my attention on the sidewalk.
Say, "Hey! I'm over here!"
Make me listen if I keep going,
Be sure that your message is clear.

Its easy enough to say from afar,
"This is how things should be done!"
To indicate this and specify that
According to your world of one.

The surprise confusion! The misunderstanding!
All things we're forced to battle with
In the endless attempt among all of us
To form a suitable togetherness.

Popsicles and Nickels

Working online is fine if you have the time,
And the backup dime. And don't like to whine.

It's unpredictable and fickle,
Makes you eat popsicles and count nickels.

There's no drama or excitement or interaction or anything:
Hours of nothing-von-nothingness, just you and the screen.

You'll spend so much time together with your little computer
That you'll defend her in arguments: "If only folks knew her!"

She's like a very best friend, an empathetic confidant.
She just sits there and listens which is just what I want.

Red Stripey Glasses

Old glasses feel new on my freckly nose,

(the stripey red ones were the first ones I chose.)

I had to be quiet since someone was still sleeping

(though it's a fun kind of game to be so sneakily creeping!)

Some folks can sleep through a hurricane, as one time I did.
I was happy in dreamland while the rest of my family hid!

It's a nice day, I think I shall walk outside
No reason for a proper girl like me to hide! 

Blink 182

Sometimes folks laugh when I confess
that I used to think that band Blink 182 was the best.

I still like them a lot, don't get me wrong,
and of course still know the words to every song!

But there was a time I felt they conveyed
the secret of men - from kids to old age!

Their punk pop rock ways left me in a daze
as we entered a whole new world to contemplate.

Reasons were given in their music and words
about how each man longs to be heard!

Or so I thought at the time, I guess I was reaching
(or maybe just really in need of some teaching.)

Beauty Revival

I never know if its hot outside
(though it usually is.)

It's mostly shadows where I live
(no sun a-dancin'.)

Except for an hour in the afternoon
When angels smile at me

They let golden rays tumble on in;
And I'm revived by the beauty!